Not all, but some. And I'm one of them.
I mean, I have always been one to some degree, but these days I'm rather generous with the assholery.
Am I proud? Far from it. I do not like NOT having full control of my emotions and I get bothered when I'm behaving like a shitty human being. I still try my best to be polite and considerate, but there are days when pregnancy hormones are tempestuous and the rage cannot be contained.
It's kind of like an explosive diarrhea: you try your hardest to keep it in, but at some point it will evacuate your body with the violence and intensity of a mini supernova. There is absolutely nothing you can do except cry softly in despair.
Do I feel entitled? I certainly hope not. I do not expect anyone to bend over backwards for me although I sometimes need help and understanding from the people around me (I never expected pregnancy to be this hard. Kudos to all the mothers out there). Moreover, I have less patience and I hardly tolerate stuff I would normally brush off before. Because aside from hormones that could temporarily unhinge even women with the highest EQ, pregnancy comes with several physical discomforts (not to mention the demonic hunger). If you are ravenous + feeling unwell, political correctness and social conduct tend to slip your mind.
Moving on. Here are a few reasons why pregnant women are assholes:
You want to enjoy being an asshole and get away with it with minimal consequences? Get pregnant! You can always blame it on the hormones and people would often accept it as a valid reason (and it is, in a way). But try to keep it in moderation. Just because you're sperminated does not mean you are allowed to be a vicious monster to everyone around you.
1. Pregnant women think they are unicorns and are oh-so-magical.
I don't consider myself special for being pregnant. People have sex (as we have done for thousands of years) and women pop out babies all the time. We are biologically programmed to procreate (or at least simulate reproduction). What I find "miraculous" are the biochemical processes and the physiological changes involved (both for me and the little one). From a scientific standpoint, pregnancy is truly amazing.
From an emotional angle... it's wonderful yet confusing. My body is getting destroyed from the inside out, yet I am ecstatic about it. In fact, I have never been consistently happier in my life. It's quite scary if you think about it.
2. Pregnant women cannot shut up about their pregnancy/cannot stop whining.
Understand that it is a monumental thing for us. We are inclined to talk about things that we deem important. It's human nature.
If you ceaselessly gush about your latest gadget or your upcoming vacation and you complain about girls who ignore your texts, your serious lack of matches on Tinder, or your sucky job ALL THE TIME, then do not expect us to bottle up our excitement. Let us enjoy our baby bump pictures, belly rubs and pregnancy related status updates. Let us whine about insomnia, crying spells and looking like a bloated hippo. I try not to rain on your parade, so please don't crap all over mine.
3. Pregnant women do not care about friendships. They always find an excuse to not party/go clubbing with us.
If you think this way, then I have 4 words for you: ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED?
No. Seriously.
Going out partying is the last thing on my mind because I honestly am not feeling too hot right now. Even getting dressed already takes a LOT of energy (if a single non-grandmotherly dress even fits). Add the commute time and I'll be dead tired and frothing in the mouth like a rabid hellhound when I reach you. Ready to shred someone, anyone most likely you to pieces.
If I am an asshole for preferring to have friends over for a quiet evening, then so be it. Right now, I feel like my being selfish is justified. I can't say the same about your being an attention whore. Stop being so thirsty, Gretchen! Geez!
4. Pregnant women are know-it-alls who would not listen to a friendly advice.
I am not a fan of unsolicited advice, but I can stand it more often than not. I would smile or shrug or nod my head out of a combination of apathy and civility. What does not sit well with me are people trying to shove their opinions down my throat. My fuse is rather short when it comes to this (preggers or not). I am not an imbecile nor am I incapable of making my own decisions.
So you had a 36 hour-long labor and had an unmedicated birth despite all odds? Good for you! You took it like a champ and I am happy that everything went well. Your partner's nipples were raw for months trying to breastfeed, and that they looked like chewed up puffy salami afterwards? It must have been challenge and I admire her for it. But do not presume to tell me that I do the same and that the options I put my mind to are not right.
Please try not to call me lazy or give me the "you are pregnant, not handicapped" spiel. I WILL CUT YOU! There is a reason why I stay in bed or cannot engage in particular activities. My doctor knows what is best for me. You don't. If you believe that the way you do things is the best way and that anyone who does differently is wrong, then I am afraid to inform you that you are a bigger asshole than I am.
Motherhood is not a competition on who has the highest pain tolerance. Having a difficult pregnancy/birth does not entitle you to a medal and it definitely does not give you the right to one-up and be a condescending dick to those who had an easier time.
5. Pregnant women are so weepy.
If you are harboring a parasitic(ish) organism in your body; your precious waistline is continuously expanding; everything hurts; and your hormones have taken the reins --- reducing you to an ever hungry, fat, and highly emotional incubator; trust me, you will be weepy too. Sure, it is our conscious decision to be in this situation, but that does not really make things any easier for us. All we ask is a bit of consideration.
However, pregnancy is never an excuse to be an asshole. I still manage to keep myself in check most of the time, but when I err, I apologize once I have cooled down because I actually don't mean to behave the way I do. Burning bridges is the last thing on my mind too unless you are a lying, thieving monkey-snake hybrid. It's like I'm having a bad day, only it lasts for 9 months (or a bit more). I seem selfish because I am no longer thinking about just myself. I have my spawn baby to protect and I avoid anything that can stress us both or put our health at risk.
I have to admit, though, that it is quite liberating to be able to express myself without feeling too bad about it. It's also an effective way to set healthy boundaries, especially if you had been a people pleaser all your life. It's such a relief to say no without having to feel guilty. It feels sooo good to not be shackled by societal expectations and not be overly concerned about what others would say or think. I'll go back to being a decent, social human being again sooner or later. I guess I'll be hibernating until I am fully functional again.
********
Dress: Topshop
Ring: Niky's Handmade
Headband: some shop in Istanbul
********
